Friday, November 4, 2011

Blind Date Disasters!

From one of my fabulous readers:

Sounds close to a horrible blind date I went on, but this guy cried during his confessional, then took out his wallet and pointed out pictures of his entire family. Then he tried to reach for my hand across the table and told me he prefers to wear thong underwear. Seriously. Then, he went to the bathroom, and I should have escaped, but I sat there like a dumb ass. He walked out of the bathroom, made eye contact with me, smiled and flexed his arms the entire way to the table (like noticeably up in the air flexes). He got into the booth, on his side, and proceeded to climb OVER the table to my side and tried to whisper sweet nothings in my ear. I freaked out! He walked me to my car, tried to kiss me good night, but I dodged it. Then, he called for two weeks, but I never answered. At the end of the week, he left me a message screaming at me saying I lead him on and his mother had been really excited to meet me!!!! LOL! You can't make this stuff up. True story!
Oh! And I forgot one of the best parts! When he shared his thong preference, he asked if I wanted to see. He ignored my plea, pulled up his shirt and his pants down slightly, and revealed a silky leopard print piece of something. Then, he says, "oh, and my belly button is pierced too!" Of course, he proudly flicked that a few times for me too. This opened up a can for my sarcastic soul, and I made extremely snarky comments about it throughout dinner, but he just laughed and said I was "soooo funny."

1 comment:

  1. Oh My GOD!
    My entire way through this post I was just hoping you would say this was some kind of joke. Dear god, I am SO sorry!..
    Blind dates from hell.